Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
