There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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