she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize