She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
