I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize