He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
