I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
