The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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