Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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