You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You need Xanax blowdarts
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
