Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I got her a Nickelback box set.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
