he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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