I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
