..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
