grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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