wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it's like iHOP with fire
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Randomize
