just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A+ Viking dick
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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