Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
they need to just BURY HIM!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
