Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
