I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
