i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
