I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
