Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
God, I missed his penis.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
