did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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