You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
