he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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