Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize