I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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