Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
