Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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