No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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