My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
