i wish peter jackson would direct porn
lets start a swedish sibling band together
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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