Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
