after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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