This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
