Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
