Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
