if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
