Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize