I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Screwed.edu
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
