Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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