READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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