For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
