Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
