Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
