I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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