Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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