And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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