please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
