it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
