if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize