Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
