Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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