I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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