i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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