Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
