Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
