I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
