I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
