Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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